I don’t leave it up to you

I just don’t care

I don’t give it up for free

I just don’t care

I fray the hypodermic thread

And puncture my being

I just don’t care

When there seems nothing left

And I’m ready to die

I still don’t care

Whatever you believe

I’m still fucking alive.

To seed another row of animosity

Is to burn into the sullen

The truth behind all the lies

When participation is my demise

Creating subconscious avenues

Opening doorways with nothing forth coming

36

This rose-frozen November red

Crisp frost green leaf

Half torn from life

Half hung on death

Framed in the mouth of snow

37

They all slumber now

The ant scurries not

The bee busy no longer

Sleeps curled in thee

The spider froze in her web

Shuttered by the eastern breeze

Fluttering between the branches

The hive, great forest,

Is your heart in slumber?

With no hum to churn your sweet

Summer fruit and fall harvest

We to slumber giving pause for nought

Empty carcasses wandering

Grieving things never owned

You are sleeping death

38

When remains leave you only bones

Surely dust is next to follow

When breath puffs no warmth

Then surely the heart is no more

And we walk alone

We drag baggage, and toys behind

Making ruckus clang disdain at the world.

An older version of the youth that used to smile;

But crime ‘gainst us has sworn us down.

Down that damned abyss

That the every one avoids.

When we become silent

It is only your blindness and deafness

Which impales us quiet.

So…..

When you listen to that quiet summer breeze

Through the green leaf willow

And that rush upon

The sandy beach you soak up;

It is we screaming

In the yarn, you trifle here.

39

I remember your tears

From the words that brought you sadness

I should have told you

My lines of disdain were real

Were biographical self-inflicted fears

I could not explain

The subliminal constellation you witnessed

Was incomplete, in construction before you

The pain you felt was my dread

My hidden secrets are borne like a breaking migraine

I could not express this beauty

I had so long ago beaten against life

Against all things true, this made me

The liar I am in tomb social gloom

By self-inflicted anger and social doom

Here I stand liar cheater and thief

Only trying to keep what is untouchable safe

Only walking, my mired anxisocial friends

Through somnolescent crowds

Keeping these secrets like a broken heart

40

When broken toys scattered

Here and there glass shattered

What do we hope to find

With Harry’s heart of glass in such a bind

Should be swept and forgotten

Pull a rug over all that’s broken

Hide the nuance dust collects

And see what the fuck you protect.

When the snow has fallen in inches crept

And the mud under is still fucking wet

Let’s slide down the way to fly

Into the brush and trees risk it all to get high

Slump into the car 17 and full of shit

Drinkin’ and rollin’ without light this is it

Laughin’ and smokin’.