II

You know when the sin warms you to the bone

And after it leaves, you glow a smile on your face

The depth of the laughter

You once shared with friends

How it made your heart swell.

I mean even the blood was so fucking thick and happy;

How deeply the scent of home reached inside you.

The baking mom did and the smell

Of plywood and paneling dust in the house

 The smell of clay and sediment dirt

From all the digging to get the sump pump in its place

How this permeated my being.

I worked hard, we all did

     But

                   Now

Not much gets in but the fucking cold.

III

The cold is like an ice cream headache

      Ice pick

I scream into my bones

Froze with sterile ozone

This tundra has become my marrow.

Strong brittle and sharp

There’s not a bloody place for you here

Not a hair’s room for you to squeeze a penny through

And don’t say, you know me.

I vanished years before we were in

The same fucking room.

You thought I couldn’t run fast enough

I ran the inside

Deep into the dark

Deeper into my marrow

It took a while to come out…….

IV

Quietly revvin’ purr ‘n’ waiting

                 To take a bite

Winter has always been kind

It hurts as deeply as I do

I could wander days dragging my feet

In sub-temperatures

V

The January freeze clings to the heart

Has nothing for us to tear apart.

On the painted glass shares our art,

Seeping blood and life from them who depart:

And the list of things that have come undone

In the foyer of the rudest man’s tongue.

Where do you think all this comes from?

Certainly not from the heart but his cum

Forced on me, in me, my mouth, rude

Corrected constraints I am subdued

By his grip upon me crude

At the moment his laugh is lewd.

VI

I am turned, through, finished;

My tongue caked with him,

My soul was stained but caught in my body.

The pain of escape, attempts

To flee, against his grip,

Against my person stripped!

The flood returns to infect my words,

Fills my mouth, coats my thoughts,

My vision hazed and sticky

Reciprocal, Reciprocal, RECIPROCAL.

A single tear

     And giving up.

His gift let it ooze it out (off!)

Scrape it off!

GIVE ME BACK WHAT BELONGS TO ME!

VII

It stays with me

It never leaves

It’s never left

The taste is here

The smell is near

Crash it upon these internal walls

Crashes on the floor

            And ceiling

Crash it like cash spent

Into the homily of market squires

Fuck you!

On the banks of their incision

Overflow, overreact, overlived

And never really loved.